Delta To Remove All Electrical Systems From Planes After Learning Elon's Teslas Run On Electricity

Delta says it will remove “all electrical systems” from its aircraft after learning that Tesla cars run on electricity, according to comments attributed to Delta spokesperson Ethan Murkowski in an article datelined Atlanta. The piece also claims Delta is refusing to install Starlink on its planes as a protest related to Elon Musk, and instead says Delta would eliminate in-flight Wi‑Fi and ban cell phones and books. It further includes escalating, clearly satirical assertions—such as getting rid of instrument panels because “without electricity” they wouldn’t power on—plus an additional claim that Delta would eliminate all engines after learning Musk also manufactures engines. The article also mentions Flock cameras and says The Babylon Bee launched an investigation to separate fact from fiction.