After 20 Years Of Thinking I Was A Sociopath, I Finally Saw My Mental Illness Represented In A TV Show

After spending 20 years believing he was a sociopath, the author says she eventually recognized dissociation as a possible explanation for feeling detached and emotionally numb. She described high pain tolerance and low empathy, but said she struggled to connect with her body or feelings despite trying multiple approaches, including counseling, thyroid medication, yoga, mindfulness, hypnotherapy, and Reiki. At age 26, she encountered the term “dissociation” in psychologist Tara Brach’s book “Radical Acceptance,” which links trauma-related disconnection to a severed mind-body connection. Two years later, she was diagnosed with depersonalization-derealization disorder (DPDR). She began EMDR therapy—eye movement desensitization and reprocessing—aimed at processing trauma using bilateral stimulation of the eyes.