Mother expected me to call every Sunday. I expect almost nothing from my kids.

A personal essay explores how guilt-based control shaped the author’s family dynamic and how she tried to break the pattern as a parent. The writer traces the behavior to her great-grandmother, described as demanding obedience from 11 children, and recounts stories of her grandmother Dora’s restrictive influence, including a telegram after her parents’ wedding that asked whether they survived a flight to Mexico. When the author became a mother, she says she intentionally avoided using guilt, contrasting it with her own upbringing where her mother required weekly Sunday calls without checking how she felt. Now that her five children are adults, she describes having low expectations to avoid disappointment, but seeks a middle ground by sharing when she is having a tough day and planning get-togethers, including Sunday afternoons.