Spouse was awarded $90,000 from my 401(k) in our divorce. How is that fair?

A reader asked The Moneyist about the fairness of a divorce settlement that awarded roughly $90,000 to an ex-spouse from their 401(k). The writer, who retired in 2020 and divorced a few years later, wanted to know whether that kind of split is normal and whether something similar is possible now that they are no longer working. The response framed the issue as a tension between legal fairness and emotional acceptance. Courts adjudicate property division using the law and factors such as marital property and contributions, but the practical impact is felt by the person living with the ruling. The column also noted that even negotiated agreements must be “walked in,” highlighting the difficulty of closure after divorce rather than focusing on whether the outcome feels equitable.